A Jewish Perspective on Choice

While I think that any discussion about a woman's right to chose should be based in the fact that it is an individual who is making an extremely personal choice and so no one else has a right to make that choice for them- I still think it is interesting (but not vital) to look at theological arguments about abortion.

I come from a American conservative Jewish religious background and so I will try t o explain part of the Jewish stance on the subject. But first the necessary disclaimer: Judaism is a very complicated religion and belief and practice of the faith change significantly depending not just on the branch (Orthodox, Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist) but with the individual. So there is no official and universally recognized stance on the issue of abortion among Jews. However, there are some generally agreed upon ideas.

First and foremost, in most branches of Judaism it is acceptable to break nearly any and all laws of the Torah to save a life. You can't agree to kill someone in order to have your life spared and it is iffy about whether or not you can sacrifice an animal to a foreign god. So a woman's life is threatened by giving birth, Judaism is ok with her having an abortion.

Secondly, the Talmud states that a life does not begin until birth. However the idea that a fetus has the potential to become a life is an important one, so if someone hurts a pregnant woman and causes her to miscarry, they are required to pay her punitive damages (but he is not accused of murder or any other form of killing)

So generally Conservative (and Reform) Jews are pro-choice and can use the Talmud to back up their arguments. But to as a Conservative Jew I think a large part of the spirit of Judaism is the quest for individual freedom. The holiday of Passover has just ended and Jews around the world recounted the story of our slavery in Egypt. A central theme to the holiday is stated in the Haggadah, “Now we are slaves in Egypt, next year may we celebrate Passover as free men and women in Jerusalem.” The metaphoric interpretations of that line and the depth of meaning in Passover is immense and beyond the point of this post, but a part of the idea is that we are supposed to recognize that we are currently not fully free and still do suffer from oppression from which we one day hope to be free. Denying a woman the right to chose whether or not to have an abortion is oppression and part of our continued metaphoric slavery. Thus I, in the tradition of my faith, yearn for a day when all people of all faiths may be free from oppression and we can all make the decisions that mean so much to ourselves in peace.

Sunday Sex Ed Tips: Outercourse

So, as I was looking for something to write about this week, I went to Planned Parenthood's birth control list, and found one entry labeled "outercourse." According to Planned Parenthood,

Outercourse means different things to different people. For some people, outercourse is any sex play without vaginal intercourse. For others, it is sex play with no penetration at all — oral, anal, or vaginal.

Now, at first I just laughed and said, "duh, if you don't have sex you won't get pregnant," but then I stepped back and thought about it. Some people might call "outercourse," an "abstinence" method without the sex-negative message, and I would agree. Obviously, if there is no sperm getting anywhere near an egg, then pregnancy isn't happening, but I had never really thought of oral sex and dry humping as methods of birth control. Alas, I was wrong. Choosing to engage in sex acts that don't run the risk of sperm and egg meeting is a form of birth control. Yes, my mind is blown a little bit.

So, now that we have accepted "outercourse" as a form of birth control (or at least I have), let's talk a little bit more about it. The big question: how effective is outercourse at preventing not only pregnancy but also STIs?

Outercourse is nearly 100 percent effective at preventing pregnancy. But pregnancy is possible if semen or pre-ejaculate (pre-cum) is spilled on the vulva and gets into the vagina.

Outercourse also greatly reduces the risk of HIV/AIDS and many other sexually transmitted diseases — unless body fluids are exchanged through oral or anal intercourse. Some infections, like herpes and HPV, can be passed by skin-to-skin contact. Using latex and plastic barriers can reduce the risk of infection.

So, condoms and dental dams are important in outercourse to protect you from STIs. Flavored condoms are an alternative to plain old latex condoms that might taste funny. And of course flavored condoms can be turned into dental dams just like normal condoms. (See Sunday Sex Ed Tips: CONDOMS for info on how to turn a condom into a dental dam).

But of course outercourse isn't only about oral sex or even anything that involves the removal of clothing. Kissing only non-genital body parts is a form of outercourse that doesn't require any sort of STI protection. (Of course you can get other things like a cold or flu from kissing, so don't make out with that girl down the hall who has strep throat!) And kissing and oral sex aren't all! Planned Parenthood's list of possible forms of outercourse includes: kissing, masturbation, manual stimulation, body-to-body rubbing (aka dry-humping), fantasy (for example watching porn, phone/cyber sex), sex toys, oral sex play, and anal sex play. I would also like to add snuggling, spooning, and dirty dancing to this list. That's a lot of fun in one birth control method!

The most important thing about using outercourse as a form of birth control is knowing and setting boundaries. Talk to your partner about what you want to do and what you don't want to do. If possible, talk to your partner about outercourse before becoming involved in an intimate situation, as it will be easier to set and agree on boundaries. Remember that it is always okay to say NO or STOP if any form of outercourse is making you uncomfortable physically or emotionally.

Hooray outercourse!

Trust Women

A question that has been a part of American political discourse from the Federalist papers to today is “what choices are best made by the government and what choices are best made by individuals?” There seems to be the general consensus that decisions that affect the majority of the population should by made by the government, and decisions that only affect the individual that makes them should be made by the individual. Thus, for examples, the government should regulate pollution to protect the health of the environment and the population at large, while I can make the decision of what university I will go to. The reason society has divided these decision making powers between the state and the individual is because of trust.
I trust the government to be able to make sense of the large quantities of data and statistics that are necessary in making car safety standards. I do not trust the government to set a price for those cars as we have seen that command economies do not work. The trust works since each sector is able to make the decisions they are best suited to make.
Who is better able to make the choice of whether or not having an abortion would be right for her physical and mental health, safety, and general well being than the woman in question? How could anyone else examine the intricacies and nuances of a woman's life and living situation and decide correctly that it is right for her to bring a child into this world at that time? Hundreds of things need to be considered before giving birth and I trust the woman, and no one else, to make the best decision for her well being on such a personal and private issue.
An individual woman's decision to have a child or an abortion does not affect society at large. In no way does it threaten the general welfare and security of our nation, thus it is not the government's role to make that decision one way or another. It is a woman's right to choose, and I trust women to make the right choices for themselves.

Sunday Sex Ed Tips: CONDOMS

Welcome to the second installment of Sunday Sex Ed Tips. This week is all about condoms. Now, I know that we jumped right into spermicide last week, but I thought it might be good to take a step back and talk about the thing that H*yas for Choice gives out every week.



Condoms are a barrier method of contraception, as you see in the video above. When placed around the penis, they catch the ejaculate to prevent pregnancy. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! (cue cheesy game show music) Condoms also act as a barrier to protect you from STIs! According to Planned Parenthood, latex condoms reduce the risk of getting chlamydia, canchroid, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, herpes, HIV, HPV, pelvic inflammatory disease, syphilis, and trichomoniasis. Condoms can protect you from STIs not only in vaginal sex, but in oral or anal sex as well.

So how do you properly put on a condom? Just remember OPRAH! Open-Pinch-Roll-Action-Hold. So, to open, first you check the expiration date. If it's expired, then stop there and throw that condom away. It will not protect you! If it's not expired, squeeze the condom over to one side and rip the package open at the other--you don't want to rip the condom!

Next, Pinch. Pinch the tip of the condom until it looks like an elf hat or sombrero. You don't want any air in the condom when it's placed on the penis! This tip that you're pinching will also serve as the receptacle for the ejaculate, so don't pull the condom tight onto the tip of the penis!!

Roll. Place that little sombrero or elf hat on the head of the penis, keeping the tip of the condom pinched. You need about a half inch of pinched condom left at the top when you unroll. Pull back the foreskin before unrolling the condom if the penis is uncircumcised. Now roll the condom down to the base of the penis and smooth out any air bubbles in the condom. (If the condom doesn't unroll easily, then your elf hat was upside down. Get a new condom and try again!)

Action. Well, I think you can all figure this one out...

Hold. Hold the condom against the base of the penis when you pull out. You don't want the condom to slip off at the end! Pull out before the penis softens to ensure that there isn't any spillage. Pull the condom off from the top, holding it tightly--don't unroll and let semen go everywhere. Also, pull the condom off pointing AWAY from your partner! Tie it up or wrap it in something and put it in the trash can--not the toilet. It will clog and be disgusting. Wash the penis before engaging in any more sex acts.

Ta-da! You now know how to use a condom properly! But once again (cheesy game show music) that's not all! Condoms can also be used for sex acts that don't involve a penis! How? By converting a condom into a DENTAL DAM! Dental dams are sheaths of latex that are placed against the vulva or the anus as a protection from STIs during oral-vaginal or oral-anal sex. Just like condoms, dental dams are a one-time-use-only product! It is possible to buy dental dams, but they aren't stocked in your average CVS and they are far more expensive than the FREE condoms from H*yas for Choice.

So, how do you turn a condom into a dental dam? It's actually pretty simple. All you need is a condom and a pair of scissors. You open the condom, once again checking the expiration date first and pushing the condom to the side so you don't rip it as you open the package. Then you snip off the tip of the condom and make a single slice up the side. You unroll it and you now have a latex barrier or dental dam! Ta-da!

Congratulations! You now know more about condoms and dental dams than I did when I started writing this piece. Please leave any questions or "OMG" moments in comments! And don't forget, OPRAH!

Sunday Sex Ed Tips: Spermicide Test

Hey Choicers!
We're starting a weekly feature with sex ed tips to keep you in the know. Check back every Sunday for a new Sex Ed tip!

Week 1: The Spermicide Test

Spermicide is a birth control method that immobilizes sperm. It comes in lots of different forms like creams, gels, and foams. There is also spermicidal lubricant and some condoms come with spermicidal lube. According to statistics by Planned Parenthood, if women always use spermicide as directed (this is just spermicide with no other BC method), 15 out of 100 will get pregnant in a year. If it's not used as directed, 29 out of 100 will get pregnant in a year. It's recommended that you use spermicide in conjunction with other barrier methods of contraception (i.e. condoms), especially because spermicide doesn't protect you from STIs. Some of the big pros for using spermicide: it doesn't mess with hormones like some contraceptives, it can be carried around in your bag or purse for use when needed, it doesn't require a prescription, and it's readily available in most drug stores, super markets, and all family planning centers. Spermicide is a pretty cool thing, and when used correctly and in conjunction with other methods it can be really effective at helping to prevent an unintended pregnancy.

The big downside of spermicides is that some people are allergic to them because they are made with chemicals. So, definitely use this tip before using spermicide in a sexual situation: Test spermicide on your arm! Yes, you might look a little bit silly rubbing spermicide on your arm, but it's much better than finding out that you have an allergy because of pain or a rash in other places. Seriously, allergies to spermicide can cause soreness, swelling, redness, and itching. And we all know that scratching your arm is less awkward than scratching your crotch...

If you are planning to use spermicide tonight, test it on your arm today. Give it about 20 minutes and see if there are any issues (rash, redness, swelling, burning, etc.). If you go out with someone and they only have condoms with spermicidal lube, test one on both of your arms and just make out for a while to make sure that you're not allergic (and throw that condom away--don't use it later!). Yeah, it's awkward, but your vagina/penis will thank you later!

H*yas in The Voice

Juliana Brint of The Voice wrote an article in the most recent issue about taking condoms from the H*yas for Choice table. (Full disclosure: I'm quoted in the article.) Here's a short bit where Juliana talks about the feelings associated with making the decision to walk up to the table and take condoms:

As I thought about it, I began to realize that my visits to the HFC table always make me somewhat uncomfortable. As happy as I always am to see their jaunty purple banner—and as grateful as I am for the community service they provide—I always need to mentally brace myself a bit before heading over to take a few condoms off their hands.

I tend to quickly scope out the surroundings, hoping to see a minimal number of friends, acquaintances, and professors. I’m never quite sure about the proper etiquette. Is an explicit request or some small talk expected, or is it acceptable to just reach in and take a few as you stroll by? I usually go with the grab-and-go approach, but even this more discreet method sometimes makes me feel like I have a neon “I’M SEXUALLY ACTIVE” sign hovering over my head.

Obviously, it can be difficult to come up to the H*yas for Choice table. Sometimes people feel awkward. I've been tabling since freshman year (I'm a senior), and I've seen a lot of people come up to take condoms. No explicit request or small talk is expected, in my opinion. The drive-by method of grabbing a few and shoving them in your pocket or bag is completely acceptable. If you want to stay and sign a petition or take a button, please do. Just don't put a button in your pocket with the condoms!!

Share in comments your personal stories about taking condoms from the table or watching people come up to the table.

Bro-Choice Wed. Nov 4th at 8:30 ICC 102

H*yas for Choice is excited to invite you to Bro-Choice--a panel with men in the Pro-Choice Movement. We have three amazing male pro-choice activists who will be talking about their jobs, how being male has affected their experiences in the pro-choice movement, and why sexual education and reproductive justice are not just women's issues. Can't wait to see you there!